Scotland

I am currently in Inverness Scotland. The place of my ancestors, the Highlands. I find that I am picking up an accent at an alarming rate (I usually don't catch on to things of that nature). I've been to Edinburgh Castle as pictured above. I've seen the hairy, "heelan' coos" (highland cows), had haggis, neaps, and tatties. Gone whiskey tasting. I'd like to think that I am becoming a Scottish Lass, but there is still much to do. I intend to not be the typical tourist of being unfriendly and unwilling to "blend in." There is still much food to taste and things to see. I would like to have a few more castles under my belt. And also tackle a "munroe," A hill that is at least 3000 ft high.

Not only do I want to be the typical tourist, but I also don't want to be another "high maintenance" traveling girl. Jeremy has definitely been good to me in the sense of getting a feel for the real Scotland. An example of this is the pub crawl I will embark on tomorrow evening with Jer bear and my brother in old town Inverness. I better keep on truckin'!

Leaving

This is the last post I can do other than the ones on the road. I'm packing up my computer and moving into a new place. Most of my other posts will be at Jeremy's parent's place or in Europe. I will be staying in Willits until it is time to take the big flight to Europe. I will be in and out of communication when that time comes.

I hope you all have a good summer and happy trails!

Fortress Europe/Marriage

So, this is a double blog or a "super blog." A blog that is made up of lesser blogs. To start, I will be taking a grand tour of Europe. (Not like the picture above, but it seems fitting) I'll be gone for about a month and I hope to see as much as I can in that time frame. I start by landing in England and figuring out how to head north to the land of my ancestors, Scotland. My boyfriend's dad also lives in Scotland so we have a place to stay. We will visit for a couple weeks then head to Glasgow where I will see my favorite band, Radiohead, in concert! My brother will be joining us there. Then, we are going to try to take the Chunnel (sp.?) over to France to go see the beaches of Normandie. Me and my brother are major World War 2 buffs and this would be a sight to see. Then, we shall go our separate ways. My brother going to Barcelona and my boyfriend and I will be going to Belgium. He has a friend there, so we shall have a place to stay. Also, my boyfriend says the beer in Belgium is extraordinary. I'm going to take him up on that. Some where, I'd like to fit in a trip to Amsterdam. Not for any "cheap" thrills but just to see that crazy city. Our trip ends in Copenhagen where we all meet up with my other brother's girlfriend. And to think I'm going to try and do all of this in a month!

The second part of this blog is kind of hard for me to talk about. My boyfriend and I have been talking seriously about marriage. We've been dating for almost three years now, so it seems proper. I have to say that all of this talk is making me extremely happy but I'm trying really hard to "maintain." I don't want to rush anything because that could mess things up. But I'm just too damned happy! I know we have to take into account our families, our schooling and our future. And my boyfriend wants to be kind of old fashion and ask my father for my hand. I have alot of respect for him. I feel so impatient but this is something definitely worth the wait!

Salud!

Guardian

I just finished up with my finals this past week. For me, something that normally comes with finals are some pretty weird dreams. I don't know if it's the hours I sleep (or don't), or the way my diet changes, or looking at the same formulas over and over again. EVERY semester, I have some strange dreams. What makes this finals week special is that these dreams have a theme. I just dream about dogs. I dreamt about my dog alot and she was very vivid too. But I also dreamt about many different types of dogs. And at one point, I was actually hearing their thoughts.

One such dream was me as a little girl. I was walking home by myself when this great, big, dog was approaching me. It was intimidating and bearing its great fangs. I don't recall the breed but it looked hound-ish with the droopy ears. I remember thinking that I wanted to run, but I knew that this dog would be on me in no time. I could hear his thoughts and this dog was intending to hurt me for no reason at all. Just as I was about to give up and prepare to fight off this dog (what choices are there?), this black dog approached. He looked like the dog pictured above. Pointed ears, jet black, large, and german shepard looking. He was a male dog because his thoughts were a man's voice. This dog was putting himself between me and the threatening dog and his thoughts were "You come any closer to her, and I'll rip your throat out!"

I wonder if this black dog is my "spirit animal," or as Fight Club would say my "power animal." Either way, my dreams are comforting and the dogs in them are a source of strength. Even if my dream is just me petting a small puppy, I still feel a great sense of safety.

In a totally unrelated story, I strongly recommend you all see "Iron Man." The geek in me squeals with delight!

PROST!

The Raven and the Eagle

I went to my first "pow wow" in years this past weekend. It was the 1st Annual HSU Big Time and Social Gathering. It wasn't a pow wow in the sense that I was used to. There wasn't a dance competition or a drum group competition. It was a gathering of various tribes to celebrate their culture and heritage. Also, it was sharing their ways with others. There was Pomo, Haida, Aztec, Tolowa to name a few. It was a weekend long event and I was lucky to be there.

My tribe, Siksika Nation, was not there and this prompted me to do what I can next year. I want to dance and sing next year. It is funny that I have decided this because I have never sang at a pow wow and I haven't danced at a pow wow since I was a little girl. But for the first time in a long time, I actually felt as though I belonged. I am apart of my people, even when I only have half of their blood. But that is the blood of warriors, chiefs, and medicine men.

Although my last sentence sounds like men dominate in my Native heritage, but it is quite contrary. There is a joke someone told at the gathering:

"Three women approached the Great Creator to pass on into the afterlife. Their passing would be judged by their beliefs. There was a Caucasian woman, an Asian woman, and a Native American woman. The Caucasian woman went first and said "I believe in honesty and hard work!" And the Great Creator said " That is a good belief and you may sit by my right side." The Asian woman went next and said "I believe in dignity and honor!" And the Great Creator said " That is a good belief and you may sit by my left side." Lastly the Great Creator asked the Native American woman "What do you believe in?" and she replied "I believe you are sitting in my seat!"

Women are the record keepers and they hold onto our history as well as our legacy. I may not have my mother's last name but I am apart of her clan. Women are also the "life givers" in the sense that they carry and bring children into the world. The first thing a young man is taught in my culture is that they must respect their women (mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, ALL women). I feel empowered as a Native American as well as a woman.

I titled this blog after a dance me and my boyfriend participated in. The Haida performed an "Eagle song" where all able bodied men are to dance. I turned to my boyfriend and egged him on and it took him some convincing but he went ahead. I am so proud of him and he was such a good sport. I danced the dance of the Raven and I had alot of fun. I have pow wow fever now and I don't want a cure!

A Prost: To Loving the One You're With!

I was having the day from Hell today. Not getting my assignments in on time, bad workouts, dealing with immature people, and just plain headaches. This all changed when my boyfriend came home and talked with me. After awhile, we decided to share a bottle of beer. Not just any beer, though. The Widmer Brother's Hefeweizen to be exact. It is an extremely tasty beer with an eclectic attiude. When you open a bottle, the bottom of the cap greets you with a "Prost" (Which is the German equivalent to "Cheers." This being a type of German beer).

"A Prost: To Beer in Your Camelbak!" "A Prost: To Spamming the Boss!" and "A Prost: To What's-Her-Face Spooning Me!" These are just to name a few. Today, however, I got the bottle cap that changed the course of my day. "A Prost: To Loving the One You're With!" I know it sounds cheesy that this could have such an impact on me, but it did.

I spent all day focusing on what was pissing me off. My guy friends treating me like crap because I'm not single was on the menu today. Or insecure people considering lil' old me a threat. And finally, unsympathetic Stats professors. "I just found out last week that my dad has cancer for F*ck's sake!!" But the bottle cap helped me forget all that. I had a nice quiet evening at home with yummy veggies and chicken with my soulmate. He even bought me a bouquet of roses (pause for "AWWWWW!") There was also a delicious dessert of wine and chocolates. There will also be popcorn and Battlestar Galactica :)

The cap just made me think about something I tend to forget from time to time. No matter how rough things get, he will always be there. I don't know where I'm going in this life and I don't care. I'm just fine as long as he rides shotgun.

Cheers!/ Prost!

Mommy Dearest

I had an intense expereince a couple weekends ago. I was talking with a woman at a seminar about "Ending Acts of Sexualized Violence." Then, the subject came to people of color, specifically Native Americans.

I shared my mother's experience as a child in the Catholic boarding school system. My mother, who is a full-blood Blackfoot and English was not her first language, was snatched from her family along with her brother. Their hair was cut off and were forced to learn English and were to be "assimilated." This began grueling years for my mother along with her peers. They would be beaten if they spoke their native language or practiced anything from their culture.

My mom told me a story of how two girls (don't recall if they were related or not) ran away from the school, which is called "Crowfoot." They ran away in the middle of a blizzard and ended up freezing to death by a road. There are those who suffered initially but there are also those who suffer to this day. For my mother, this was decades ago and she still carries the stories with her.

I am imensely proud of my mother. She survived and she is one happy person right now, even with something so dark in her past. I always say, if I am just a fraction as strong as she is, I would be happy. My mom raised the four of us kids as best she could and the results are amazing to me. It's all because of her.

When I told my mother's story, I didn't even say "I am Native American" or anything stating my own heritage. Even now, I don't believe it's my place. I don't know why I do this and continue to do this. Anyone care to help me out?

Commander Gray a.k.a "The Ultimate Badass"

For those of you out there who would like to meet me, the closest you can possibly get is through playing with me (or against me although I wouldn't recommend it LOL!) in Call of Duty 4 on the xbox 360.

In addition to running, playing CoD4 online is my latest addiction. And, if you don't mind me saying so, I've become quite good at (this is a noted "male" environment).

I get alot of odd responses when I use my headset and guys hear this girl's voice. This one individual kept asking "Are you a girl? Are you a girl?" over and over. I also got asked if I have "boobs." To which I responded "Yeah they're like your girlfriend's, only nicer!" So, I choose to not use my headset but for tactical purposes only.

There are women who play this game, although rare. But what I've come to find out is that they are some of the best. Some would argue that they really have no lives and spend all day playing this game, but who knows?

In closing, I will disclose my screen name and some of my favorite weapons and maps:

SN: [sknk] AT3 Drifter

Weapons: SAW!!!! Love to tear it up with my SAW (whom I affectionately call "Starla." Dragunov for sniping....G36C, the sub-machine gun for the woman on the go!

Maps: Crossroads. I can play that map all day and not get bored.

Look me up if you wanna play!

Salutations and junk

This is my very first blog (yay, me). I suppose I should introduce myself, where are my manners? I go by "Ari." I'm 21 years young, going to school to become one bitchin' registered nurse, and I currently reside in Northern California with my soulmate.

The main reason why I've decided to go ahead and get this blog stuff over with is because I'm having a minor crisis. Wow, that's an oxymoron if I ever heard one. It isn't a health crisis, a midlife crisis or any other of those crisises (is that even a word?). I'm having a self-diagnosed "Cultural Identity Crisis." I'm half Native American and the other half is "white"/Scottish. I'm just having a tough time accepting my Native roots.

I am split down the middle as far as my culture/ ethicity/ race etc. is concerned. I'm a "half-breed" if you will and I hope to figure myself out. This is my journey with all the bumps along the way. I also have a marathon I'd like to run and I'm going to tour Europe. You can come along with me if you like