The Raven and the Eagle

I went to my first "pow wow" in years this past weekend. It was the 1st Annual HSU Big Time and Social Gathering. It wasn't a pow wow in the sense that I was used to. There wasn't a dance competition or a drum group competition. It was a gathering of various tribes to celebrate their culture and heritage. Also, it was sharing their ways with others. There was Pomo, Haida, Aztec, Tolowa to name a few. It was a weekend long event and I was lucky to be there.

My tribe, Siksika Nation, was not there and this prompted me to do what I can next year. I want to dance and sing next year. It is funny that I have decided this because I have never sang at a pow wow and I haven't danced at a pow wow since I was a little girl. But for the first time in a long time, I actually felt as though I belonged. I am apart of my people, even when I only have half of their blood. But that is the blood of warriors, chiefs, and medicine men.

Although my last sentence sounds like men dominate in my Native heritage, but it is quite contrary. There is a joke someone told at the gathering:

"Three women approached the Great Creator to pass on into the afterlife. Their passing would be judged by their beliefs. There was a Caucasian woman, an Asian woman, and a Native American woman. The Caucasian woman went first and said "I believe in honesty and hard work!" And the Great Creator said " That is a good belief and you may sit by my right side." The Asian woman went next and said "I believe in dignity and honor!" And the Great Creator said " That is a good belief and you may sit by my left side." Lastly the Great Creator asked the Native American woman "What do you believe in?" and she replied "I believe you are sitting in my seat!"

Women are the record keepers and they hold onto our history as well as our legacy. I may not have my mother's last name but I am apart of her clan. Women are also the "life givers" in the sense that they carry and bring children into the world. The first thing a young man is taught in my culture is that they must respect their women (mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, ALL women). I feel empowered as a Native American as well as a woman.

I titled this blog after a dance me and my boyfriend participated in. The Haida performed an "Eagle song" where all able bodied men are to dance. I turned to my boyfriend and egged him on and it took him some convincing but he went ahead. I am so proud of him and he was such a good sport. I danced the dance of the Raven and I had alot of fun. I have pow wow fever now and I don't want a cure!

A Prost: To Loving the One You're With!

I was having the day from Hell today. Not getting my assignments in on time, bad workouts, dealing with immature people, and just plain headaches. This all changed when my boyfriend came home and talked with me. After awhile, we decided to share a bottle of beer. Not just any beer, though. The Widmer Brother's Hefeweizen to be exact. It is an extremely tasty beer with an eclectic attiude. When you open a bottle, the bottom of the cap greets you with a "Prost" (Which is the German equivalent to "Cheers." This being a type of German beer).

"A Prost: To Beer in Your Camelbak!" "A Prost: To Spamming the Boss!" and "A Prost: To What's-Her-Face Spooning Me!" These are just to name a few. Today, however, I got the bottle cap that changed the course of my day. "A Prost: To Loving the One You're With!" I know it sounds cheesy that this could have such an impact on me, but it did.

I spent all day focusing on what was pissing me off. My guy friends treating me like crap because I'm not single was on the menu today. Or insecure people considering lil' old me a threat. And finally, unsympathetic Stats professors. "I just found out last week that my dad has cancer for F*ck's sake!!" But the bottle cap helped me forget all that. I had a nice quiet evening at home with yummy veggies and chicken with my soulmate. He even bought me a bouquet of roses (pause for "AWWWWW!") There was also a delicious dessert of wine and chocolates. There will also be popcorn and Battlestar Galactica :)

The cap just made me think about something I tend to forget from time to time. No matter how rough things get, he will always be there. I don't know where I'm going in this life and I don't care. I'm just fine as long as he rides shotgun.

Cheers!/ Prost!

Mommy Dearest

I had an intense expereince a couple weekends ago. I was talking with a woman at a seminar about "Ending Acts of Sexualized Violence." Then, the subject came to people of color, specifically Native Americans.

I shared my mother's experience as a child in the Catholic boarding school system. My mother, who is a full-blood Blackfoot and English was not her first language, was snatched from her family along with her brother. Their hair was cut off and were forced to learn English and were to be "assimilated." This began grueling years for my mother along with her peers. They would be beaten if they spoke their native language or practiced anything from their culture.

My mom told me a story of how two girls (don't recall if they were related or not) ran away from the school, which is called "Crowfoot." They ran away in the middle of a blizzard and ended up freezing to death by a road. There are those who suffered initially but there are also those who suffer to this day. For my mother, this was decades ago and she still carries the stories with her.

I am imensely proud of my mother. She survived and she is one happy person right now, even with something so dark in her past. I always say, if I am just a fraction as strong as she is, I would be happy. My mom raised the four of us kids as best she could and the results are amazing to me. It's all because of her.

When I told my mother's story, I didn't even say "I am Native American" or anything stating my own heritage. Even now, I don't believe it's my place. I don't know why I do this and continue to do this. Anyone care to help me out?

Commander Gray a.k.a "The Ultimate Badass"

For those of you out there who would like to meet me, the closest you can possibly get is through playing with me (or against me although I wouldn't recommend it LOL!) in Call of Duty 4 on the xbox 360.

In addition to running, playing CoD4 online is my latest addiction. And, if you don't mind me saying so, I've become quite good at (this is a noted "male" environment).

I get alot of odd responses when I use my headset and guys hear this girl's voice. This one individual kept asking "Are you a girl? Are you a girl?" over and over. I also got asked if I have "boobs." To which I responded "Yeah they're like your girlfriend's, only nicer!" So, I choose to not use my headset but for tactical purposes only.

There are women who play this game, although rare. But what I've come to find out is that they are some of the best. Some would argue that they really have no lives and spend all day playing this game, but who knows?

In closing, I will disclose my screen name and some of my favorite weapons and maps:

SN: [sknk] AT3 Drifter

Weapons: SAW!!!! Love to tear it up with my SAW (whom I affectionately call "Starla." Dragunov for sniping....G36C, the sub-machine gun for the woman on the go!

Maps: Crossroads. I can play that map all day and not get bored.

Look me up if you wanna play!